


I'm Back! A Dinosaucer's Story

by SecretAnthroWritersSociety



Category: Dinosaucers, Dinosaucers (Cartoon), Drawn Together (Cartoon), Machine Robo | GoBots
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 05:46:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13606815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretAnthroWritersSociety/pseuds/SecretAnthroWritersSociety
Summary: Allo's been living like a slob ever since his show got cancelled long ago. However, a surprise visit is enough to change everything.Takes place in the Drawn Together universe, where every work of fiction lives together. Oneshot.





	I'm Back! A Dinosaucer's Story

Somewhere in the slums where old, forgotten cartoon characters live…

An alarm clock was buzzing loudly. From under the covers of a bunk bed, a clawed hand emerged. After missing the button a few times, the fist finally hit its target, silencing it for another day.

The hand and its buddy pulled back the covers revealing a way too worn-out anthro Allosaurus. He just sat there in the bed. This guy was unkempt to hell. Feathery protrusions covered him head to toe (that's what happens when a dinosaur doesn’t shave for a decade) and the gaps between them were filled with so much grime it gave the body a greenish tint. A yawn came out of the allosaurus, revealing a rugged voice that was far from the commanding vocalization he once had (hint: hiring a new voice actor usually solves the problem). The anthrosaur looked in front. There was the TV that was always there. No sign of his roommate.

His hand reaches for something on the same table where the alarm clock was. He grabbed the object, which was a remote, and turned on the TV. Since his show and related ones have been off the air for a while, there wasn’t much that interested him. Anytime he saw Optimus Prime or the Turtles he felt his brain cells commit mass suicide. “THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME” is the thought that he always has.

One thing the anthro dinosaur always wondered is if that “Homer the Hepatitis Guy” kicked the bucket yet.

Every day, this dinosaur just gets lazier and lazier. It’s coming to the point where actually getting out of bed was becoming a rarity. It’s not like he had high hopes or anything. He had nothing to hold onto these days. Even when his show was active he had nothing. No video games, no spin-offs, and the toy line never came to be. When his show was cancelled he expected a proper reboot in some form for new viewers within 15 years. Now three decades have passed and he’d long given up hope. He still has nothing. The most he currently has is talentless people making fetish art of him. Someday he’ll hollow out that purple digimon dragon’s skull. Someday.

The door to the dinosaur’s room opened, and the roommate that didn't sleep in the same room as him came inside. He was a green rabbit, though his coloration was natural.

“Hey, Allo. You awake?” The rabbit said.

“Does it fucking look like it?” The dino said. His patience and leader-like qualities were definitely missing in action these days.

“Oh, geez. Sorry,” the rabbit said.

“Where’s Cy-Kill? Is he around?”

“Yes… and no longer for the time being, sadly.” The lagomorph grabbed a thing behind him and threw it into the room. The torn up body of Allo’s former roommate landed with a metallic clunk.

“He crossed paths with Megatron and got assaulted. Again.” Said the rabbit, “he’ll pull himself back together soon.”

“Dammit. I was going to ask him to steal some cookies for me,” Allo said.

“What’s up with you? Aren't you supposed to be a born leader from where you’re from?”

“Shut it, O’Hare! It’s clear no one’s interested in me except for those flies attracted to corpses!” The dinosaucer said as he began to sob, “unlike you, I’ve never had a video game based on my series, let alone an amazing one. I never had a toyline, no mentions in popular media that isn’t untalented hacks!”

“Weren’t there toys made overseas?”

“THIRD PARTY TOYS DONT COUNT! They’re the equivalent of expensive hard to get fanfiction! All the fanfiction I’ve seen is either low grade quality or ends with me and the others dying horribly! Did I mention FETISH ART by UNTALENTED HACKS?!? I’ve gotten nothing, NOTHING I say!” Allo sobbed louder and put his pillow over his scaly, feathery head. His companion waited until his mental bucket was relatively empty.

“Cheer up. Do you know Bubsy Bobcat?”

“...Who’s he?”

“I heard he just got a brand new-” Bucky O’Hare was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Coming!” he said.

As the rabbit left his field of view, Allo pulled the sheets over his dirt-encrusted body. His murky brain tried to decide what to do. Sleep? Go to the kitchen for a snack? Watch TV? Sleep? Play with his (Mr. Happy)? Sleep? Sleep?

“...I tell you, he’s become such a pessimist…” said a certain someone in the hall. Just as fast as he left, Bucky came back into view.

“Hey Allo? There’s someone who wants to see you.”

“Is it another fly hunting for corpses?”

“No. Quite the opposite.”

The anthrosaur wondered if he should get up. Since he really let himself go all these years, getting up was no easy task. After tiredly trying to move, Allo decided to not get, but give and let the visitor see him as the wreck he was.

“Bring the guy in here.” Allo said.

The guy in question stepped into the dino’s eyesight, and the eyes seeing that sight narrowed.

“You friggin lied to me, hairball!” Allo remarked to Bucky.

The visitor was none other than Captain Hero, cape billowing in a non-existent breeze. Allo knew this guy had flying abilities, and he also knew the Captain regularly engaged in necrophilia, so he was indeed a corpse-loving fly in Allo’s eyes.

“Excuse me, are you the Dinosaucer Allo?” Captain Hero said.

“Yep,” the dinosaur said, “I know I forgot to bathe in years and that’s what attracted you. Hop onto me and get it over with.”

“What? Oh, that’s not why i’m here,” Captain Hero said.

(Cut to confessional)

Captain Hero: After our show was cancelled and our horrible movie was deemed non-canon by longtime fans, i’ve been serving multiple odd jobs in the realm of fiction. Most recently, i’ve been working as an representative for-

Someone’s voice: I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T DOING CONFESSIONALS IN THIS FIC!

Captain Hero: Dammit!

(Back to story)

“...I’ve been working as a representative for the LionForge comic company.”

“Good for you. Then why are-”

“LionForge has recently announced three new comic properties to be released for this year.” Leslie Hero reached into a pouch on the back of his suit and pulled out three laminated printouts depicting the covers of the new properties. “I think you’ll love the last one!”

Allo looked at the first printout in Captain Hero’s hand.

“Wormworld Saga… Not interested!”

Captain Hero threw the first printout aside, revealing the second.

“Upgrade Soul? certainly won’t interest my soul!”

Captain Hero threw the second printout aside, revealing the last one.

“Dino-” Allo’s joints suddenly locked up like an animatronic as his brain processed the title that entered his eyes. The only joint that didn’t freeze was his jaw, which dropped like an unattended drawbridge, or a corpse.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. What he saw wasn’t the title of any comic. It was the title of HIS old, forgotten TV show. At least in his mind it was “forgotten”. On the printed cover, clear as day, was the Dinosaucers logo, almost exactly the same as it was decades ago. The dinosaur’s eyes drifted downward to see four humans. Were those? The Secret Scouts?! Had to be! His eyes darted to the left. He saw a credit listed to… Michael Ulsan… His original creator. This wasn’t the work of a genuine fan rightfully trying to overthrow makers of fetish art, this was real... A real dinosaucers comic… with the same blood running in its velvet pigments as the original show had in its ink… Wait. Who’s the fluffy guy with the wolverine-ripoff hairdo?! Couldn’t be Allo, he’s not that evil! Genghis Rex? Captain Sabretooth? A new villain? It didn’t matter. What matters is that it’s effin real…….

Deep within Allo’s locked-up body, A small ember began to burn. An ember of newfound hope. The fire grew rapidly, reaching the frozen mental blocks in his head that barricaded what he once was. As the imaginary blocks of ice melted, the streams they left flowed to Allo’s eyes, the moistness forming tears. Tears of joy.

“You’re back in business!” said Captain Hero.

At that point, the dinosaur’s joints unlocked and the boxer-clad beast leaped from his bed onto the Man of Aluminum, embracing him tightly as he wept with glee.

“Oh...Thank you!...” Allo said with a sniffle, “...Thank you Captain! ...My Hero!...”

Suddenly, the Captain pushed Allo off of him.

“Yuck!” said Captain Hero, “Seriously, take a bath! I’ve smelled corpses that were better than you!”

“I have to agree with him,” said Cy-Kill, who reconstituted while the two were talking.

“Didn’t you lose your smell receptors a while back?” asked Allo.

“Yes, but I can literally see the dirt on you!”

“Oh well. If you’ll excuse me, I have a working montage to take care of.”

Allo turned around and reached under the bed, pulling out a dust-covered luggage case. He stomped out of the room, into the hallway and into the bathroom of the apartment, which was in decent condition. Luggage in hand, he shut the door.

In the alleyway outside the apartment, a huge fly with his wings missing was sitting on the ground.

“I’m so hungry! Someone die already!” He whined.

Allo’s boxers then flew out the bathroom window and landed on the fly’s head as said window closed. The fly held the discarded undergarment in his hands and sniffed it.

“Close enough to a corpse. Guess i’ll see what a baby moth diet tastes like.” He proceeded to eat the article of clothing as mist started forming on the window from which it came.

In the shower, there were two hands. One with a bar of soap and one with a large brush. The hand with soap suddenly came down and speeded across the water-soaked, feathery plain that was Allo’s body. As it rolled and did donuts in the metaphorical terrain, it left a residue which killed the bacteria not swept away by the heavy rain. Those who hid under the feathery groundcover were in for a shock because as soon as the soap disappeared from their horizon, the bristles of a giant brush came into view and pushed them out and into the acid that really wasn’t.

A few drops of a shampoo like substance splattered on a scaly hand. Allo spread this over his scalp and the rest of his body. He stood still for the rinse cycle. One jump-cut to a couple minutes later, Allo stood behind the door of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his lower section. He cracked the door and peeked out.

“Excuse me? Is there an electric razor I can borrow?” Allo asked aloud.

“We don’t have one,” answered Bucky, “Mine just broke last night, inconveniently enough.”

Allo cursed and his form retreated into the bathroom. At last, he took the luggage case and opened it up. Inside was his old dinosaucer suit and helmet, in remarkably good condition after all these years. Within minutes, Allo, fully clad in his suit, kicked open the door and marched up to where Bucky and the others were.

“There he is!” said Captain Hero.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry for the feathered appearance. No razor,” Allo replied.

“Oh that’s fine! Paleontologists have recently found evidence that dinosaurs like you were actually feathered creatures.”

“So… Where should I go from here?”

“Here’s the address.” Captain Hero handed Allo a piece of paper and the anthrosaur read the printed address.

“Okay, Cy-Kill, transform and roll out!”

“Oh my… he sees me like an actual Tranformer!” The modified Bike Robo said as he and ran to the road in front of the apartment with Allo behind him. When Cy-Kill reached the road, he converted into motorcycle form and Allo hopped on him. Within no time, they were zooming off.

Allo and Cy-kill roared through straights, maneuvered crosswalks, banked turns, ramp-jumped over traffic, and shifted lanes on their journey. Cy-Kill would tend to go toward pedestrians since he was a bad guy, but Allo easily kept him in check.

As they neared their destination, two canine hooker things were on the sidewalk, one blue, one yellow. It was pretty obvious who these were. Just ask Spanky. He’d even state of their connection to the dragon mentioned earlier in the story. Cy-kill, being the killer cycle he was, set himself on a crash course with these two. And Allo let Cy-kill-kill someone. The bike impacted both dog people, killing them instantly and sending their dead bodies flying through the streets.

“Don’t worry, they’ll get better,” Cy-kill reaffirmed the reader. At last, Allo reached his destination. He hopped off the Gobot and it sped away, it’s mind bent to find Megatron and beat the circuits out of him.

“Let’s get this show on the road!” said Allo as he walked inside...


End file.
